Diaper Don's Delusions: A Toddler's Guide to Losing Gracelessly
From Courtroom Tantrums to Flag-Lowering Fits
In what can only be described as a masterclass in unhinged self-pity, Donald Trump took to Truth Social on Friday, January 3, 2025, to air his grievances about everything from medals to flags to his mounting legal woes.
The former president, now president-elect (because apparently, America loves a sequel no one asked for), proved once again that his capacity for melodrama knows no bounds.
Liz Cheney Gets a Medal, Trump Gets a Fit
The day's tantrum-fest kicked off at 1:25 p.m. Eastern Time when Trump responded to the news that President Joe Biden had awarded former Rep. Liz Cheney the Presidential Citizens Medal for her role in the January 6 Select Committee.
Cheney, a Republican who dared to put country over party, has been a thorn in Trump's side ever since she called him out for his role in the Capitol riot.
Trump, predictably, couldn't handle it. "Biden gave Liz Cheney a Medal yesterday, even though she has proven to be totally corrupt," he fumed on Truth Social before launching into a tirade about how Cheney, Bennie Thompson, and the rest of the "Unselect Committee" had "destroyed and deleted all evidence" from their investigation.
Sure, Donald. The committee that meticulously documented your every misstep somehow "destroyed" the evidence. Maybe the same way you "declassified" those documents at Mar-a-Lago by thinking about it really hard?
The Half-Mast Meltdown
Just six minutes later, at 1:31 p.m., Trump's second tantrum of the day erupted after realizing that flags might be flying at half-mast during his January 20, 2025, inauguration.
The reason? There will be a 30-day national mourning period for the late President Jimmy Carter, a man who, unlike Trump, earned the nation's respect.
But Trump, ever the narcissist, couldn't resist making it all about himself.
"The Democrats are all 'giddy' about our magnificent American Flag potentially being at 'half mast' during my Inauguration," he whined on Truth Social as if the flag's position was some grand conspiracy orchestrated by the deep state.
"Nobody wants to see this, and no American can be happy about it."
Actually, Donald, most Americans are probably just fine with it. The flag isn't mourning your inauguration—it's mourning a president who embodied dignity and service, two qualities you wouldn't recognize if they hit you in the face with a subpoena.
Justice Merchan's "Radical Partisan" Sentencing
The grand finale of Trump's Truth Social tirade came at 8:43 p.m. when he unleashed a two-part rant about his legal troubles.
New York Justice Juan Merchan upheld Trump’s Manhattan conviction on 34 counts of falsifying business records and scheduled his sentencing hearing on January 10.
While the judge has hinted at an "unconditional discharge" (read: no jail time), Trump still managed to turn the situation into another episode of his favorite show, The Persecution of Donald J. Trump.
In his rambling posts, Trump accused Justice Merchan of being a "radical partisan" who is "far worse and even more corrupt" than Special Counsel Jack Smith.
He also claimed that Merchan's rulings "would be the end of the Presidency as we know it."
Oh, the irony. The man who tried to end democracy is now clutching his pearls over the sanctity of the presidency.
If only he showed this much concern for the Constitution when he incited a mob to storm the Capitol.
Silent on E. Jean Carroll
Conspicuously absent from Trump's Truth Social rants was any mention of the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upholding the $5 million award to E. Jean Carroll for defamation and sexual abuse.
The court's decision cements Trump's status as a man who cannot keep his hands to himself and can’t keep his mouth shut and avoid defaming someone.
Perhaps Trump's silence on the matter is a rare moment of self-awareness. Or maybe he's just too busy trying to figure out how to spin this one into another "witch hunt."
Either way, his lack of comment speaks volumes.
Is the former president finally afraid of something? Or is he just saving his energy for his next meltdown?
The Bottom Line
As we inch closer to January 20, 2025, one thing is clear: Donald Trump is as unhinged as ever.
Whether he's whining about flags, lashing out at judges, or throwing tantrums over medals, the man is a walking, talking reminder of why we need term limits—and maybe a national supply of adult diapers.
So buckle up, America. The next four years are shaping up to be a wild ride, and not in a good way.
But hey, at least we'll always have Truth Social for a front-row seat to the circus.
Just remember to bring your own popcorn and a strong stomach—you'll need both to digest the daily dose of delusion served up by our Whiner-in-Chief.
But in the brave new world of Trump's America 2.0, we can look forward to four more years of governance by tweet, policy by tantrum, and diplomacy by caps lock. So strap in, folks.
It's going to be a bumpy ride, and we're all just passengers on the Trump Train to Crazytown.
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