There is a peculiar smell hanging over American politics five days before the midterms. A foul mixture of panic sweat, cheap cologne, burning money, and powerful men realizing that the public has finally had enough of their bullshit.
I’ve read the polls. I’ve studied the scandals. I’ve watched the White House circus attempt to juggle chainsaws while the tent catches fire.
And I have one question.
What the actual fuck is happening to this country?
The president is promising voters cash. His relatives have financial stakes in defense businesses. Military families have been stranded by a war their government started. And congressional Republicans are treating accountability like a communicable disease.
Richard Nixon would have swallowed his tape recorder.
The $5,000 Carnival Barker
Donald Trump, America’s most celebrated authority on making others pay for his mistakes, has discovered a bold new economic philosophy: promise everyone five grand.
That’s right. Five thousand dollars for adult American citizens, tied to Republicans keeping Congress. Never mind the cost of living, the price of gasoline, or the irritating detail of where the money would come from.
Vote Republican! Win cash! Operators are standing by!
It’s Publishers Clearing House for people who think a campaign rally is a substitute for monetary policy.
Terms and conditions apply. Offer void wherever a functioning democracy is found. Payment may be delayed, revised, forgotten, or declared fake news sometime after November 3.
Meanwhile, an AP-NORC poll found 69% of Americans think Trump’s handling of living costs has been worse than expected. Even 52% of Republicans agreed.
When your own customers start complaining that the snake oil doesn’t work, perhaps stop selling larger bottles??!!
The Pentagon’s Excellent Adventure in Catastrophe
Then there’s Iran. Not the war as explained by television tough guys, but the actual war, where things explode, and people suffer, and military families discover that patriotic speeches won’t pay their bills.
Iranian attacks caused an estimated $400 million in damage at the American naval facility in Bahrain. Acting Navy Secretary Hung Cao put it with unusual precision: “They blew the hell out of Bahrain.”
Well, splendid. Perhaps somebody should put that on a commemorative challenge coin.
Military spouses described terrifying attacks, chaotic evacuations, and savings drained while they waited for help. Some were left behind after service members had departed.
This wasn’t a video-game mission. These were parents trying to keep their kids alive while the adults in charge performed their usual impression of a malfunctioning committee.
Then a grieving military husband confronted Vice President JD Vance about leadership failures surrounding the attack that killed his wife. Vance said it was the first time he’d heard of the problems being described.
Seven months later.
Apparently nobody thought to send the vice president a fucking memo.
And when Republican Rep. Thomas Massie pressed an impeachment effort against Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Speaker Mike Johnson recessed the House early.
Problem solved! Apparently, if Congress goes home, accountability forgets the address.
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The Family Business, Now With Government Contracts
Of course, the war hasn’t been bad news for everybody.
The Washington Post found Trump-linked investment funds connected to Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump had stakes in defense-related companies receiving billions in federal business.
That doesn't prove the brothers pocketed those contract totals or that contracts were illegally awarded.
It is, however, one hell of a conflict-of-interest spectacle when Daddy runs the government, and the family has financial interests in businesses seeking its money.
We could ask for transparency, but that might interrupt the sacred MAGA tradition of screaming about corruption while standing knee-deep in it.
And what about Kimberly Guilfoyle? The former ambassador to Greece faced allegations that she sought $100,000 from a wealthy Trump donor to cover an American Express bill. She disputed the claims; the donor said he didn’t pay.
Ah, diplomacy. Once upon a time it involved treaties and international relations. Now apparently it can involve finding someone to settle your credit-card balance.
Charge it to the Republic!
The Ten-Billion-Dollar Scheduling Emergency
Trump is also suing the BBC for $10 billion. A magnificent sum, even for a man with such an intimate relationship with exaggerated numbers.
But when it came time for his deposition, his lawyers cited important national business. The president was busy campaigning in Georgia and attending a Mar-a-Lago fundraiser.
A judge has since ordered him to testify by December 11, warning of possible sanctions.
Ten billion dollars in grievances, but somehow not enough time to answer questions. The lawsuit wants the spotlight; its author appears considerably less enthusiastic about the oath.
The Pollsters Bring the Bad News
And now, five days before the midterms, the political weather forecast looks like a tornado bearing down on a mobile-home park built entirely of Republican talking points.
An October Reuters/Ipsos poll put Trump’s approval at 32%. A separate survey found 58% of Americans agreed he was a potentially dangerous dictator whose powers should be limited. Among independents: 64%.
Those are numbers that make campaign consultants quietly change their LinkedIn profiles to “available for new opportunities.”
Democrats also reported considerably higher enthusiasm for voting than Republicans in that survey. And the stakes extend beyond Congress: state legislative races could break Republican governing trifectas, limiting one-party control over abortion laws, voting rules, and civil rights.
None of that guarantees a blue wave. Polls aren’t ballots, and Republicans have never allowed an inconvenient little thing like public disapproval to interfere with their appetite for power.
But imagine the possibilities if Congress actually starts investigating this mess. Subpoenas. Public hearings. Witnesses under oath. The terrifying prospect of politicians answering questions without a friendly television host feeding them the answers.
No wonder they’re nervous.
The grift has been spectacular. The excuses have been endless. And the bills, financial and moral, keep piling up.
On November 3, the voters get to decide who picks up the tab.
Something tells me the MAGA crowd won’t be offering another five thousand dollars when that bill arrives - not that anyone is ever going to see a dime!
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The featured image includes: Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo en route, illustrated by Ralph Steadman. Image sourced from Flickr and credited under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) license.
Original artwork © Ralph Steadman.
Spot on reporting as always