From Turkey to Truce

How Holiday Dinner Tactics Can Save Democracy

Imagine your holiday dinner: the mashed potatoes are cold, the gravy boat’s been commandeered by warring factions, and Cousin Karen just stormed out because someone said the words "climate change."

Sound familiar?

That’s basically America right now. Everyone’s yelling, no one’s listening, and the stuffing’s starting to look like a metaphor for our political landscape—crumbling and overcooked.

So, why bother trying to work together?

Because the stakes are too damn high not to.

Every big issue requires collaboration, from healthcare to climate justice to ensuring kids can still read books without them being banned.

Not just with the people you like but with the ones who make you grind your teeth.

Here’s the harsh reality: change doesn’t happen in echo chambers. If we want to fix anything, we need messy, imperfect, wildly diverse coalitions.

Yes, even if it feels like teaming up with that one relative who still says, “Let’s agree to disagree,” right before launching into a Facebook tirade.

Let’s discuss how to make that happen without losing all your holiday cheer.

Collaboration: The Only Way Out of This Mess

America is so polarized right now that even issues with obvious solutions seem impossible to fix. Why? Because we’re stuck in a cycle of "us vs. them." And while it might feel great to dunk on the other side, it doesn’t actually solve anything.

Take a cue from history: the greatest strides in civil rights, labor protections, and social justice didn’t happen because everyone suddenly agreed on everything.

They happened because unlikely allies found one or two issues they could rally around and made it work.

Collaboration isn’t about being best friends. It’s about getting stuff done.

How to Build Coalitions (Without Losing Your Sanity)

Coalition-building is the key to making real progress, but it's no easy feat. It requires patience, creativity, and the ability to find common ground amidst deep divides.

Let's dive into some strategies to help you build effective, sustainable coalitions.

Find Shared Goals (Even If They’re Tiny)

You don’t have to agree on everything. You just need one shared goal. Think of it like this: you don’t need to like all the same side dishes to agree the turkey’s on fire. Focus on the fire.

Trust Takes Time (And Maybe Snacks)

Building trust across divides isn’t easy. It takes time, clear communication, and a willingness to listen—even when you’d rather mute the other person. Start small. Celebrate the wins, even the little ones.

Play to Everyone’s Strengths

Not everyone needs to do everything. Some people are great organizers, some are social media wizards, and others bring snacks.

Use what you’ve got, and stop expecting perfection from everyone.

Leverage Technology Smartly

Social media can spread your message, but it can also turn into a shouting match faster than you can say “hot take.”

Use platforms like Zoom for actual conversations, not just comment-section brawls.

Timing Is Everything

Good coalitions know when to act. Pay attention to political shifts, public sentiment, or even a viral moment that aligns with your goals. Timing isn’t just important—it’s everything.

Why the Mess Is Worth It

Let’s be real: coalition-building is frustrating, slow, and sometimes like herding cats. But the payoff is transformative. When people come together across ideological divides, change happens.

Think of it like assembling IKEA furniture. It’s annoying and requires way too many tools, but in the end, you get a functional piece of change (even if a couple of screws are missing).

A Quick Note

If this post got you thinking, paid subscribers just received my in-depth, nearly 4,200-word eBook, Uniting the Resistance: Strategies for Effective Collaboration in a Polarized America.

The eBook dives deep into the topics covered here with actionable strategies, historical examples, and more.

No pressure, but if you’re interested in going beyond the mashed potatoes and into the heart of coalition-building, it’s waiting for you.

Thanks for your interest in The Art of Living.