Man Baby's Dance of Shame

A $170 Million Grift, Now With Central Heating

It was the best of times. It was the stupidest of times.

Once upon a time, America had presidents who braved the elements with dignity and strength. John F. Kennedy stood outside in 1961, delivering his iconic inaugural address in a bone-chilling 22 degrees.

Barack Obama, in 2009, faced a frigid 28 degrees, with millions of supporters braving the cold to witness history.

And then there's Amy Klobuchar, who announced her presidential campaign in 2019 during a literal blizzard—sans hat, gloves, or earmuffs—while snow piled on her shoulders.

Her response to Donald Trump mocking her? A mic-drop-worthy, "I wonder how your hair would fare in a blizzard?"

Fast-forward to 2025, and Trump, the self-proclaimed "manly man," is moving his second inauguration indoors because the forecasted low will be 11 degrees.

Yes, the same man who once mocked others for being "snowflakes" couldn't handle a little snowflake himself. The irony is as thick as the hairspray holding his comb-over in place.

A Rare Break with Tradition

The last time this happened was in 1985 when Ronald Reagan's second inauguration was moved indoors due to a record-breaking 7-degree temperature.

But even then, Reagan’s team only made the call after considering the extreme cold's impact on the thousands of attendees—not just the president.

On the other hand, Trump isn’t worried about the crowd’s frostbite; he’s worried about his comfort and the optics of a smaller, shivering audience. After all, nothing must distract from his carefully cultivated "manly man" image.

And let’s talk about attendance—or lack thereof. Former Presidents Barack Obama, George W. Bush, and Bill Clinton have already announced they will not attend the traditional inaugural brunch, citing "scheduling conflicts" (a convenient excuse).

Meanwhile, Michelle Obama has publicly confirmed she will not attend the inauguration at all.

With seating limited to around 400 people indoors, it wouldn’t be surprising if the former presidents use this scenario as a polite way to skip the ceremony altogether.

After all, why brave the cold—or even a warm rotunda—for a man who thrives on division and self-adulation?

The Hypocrisy of the "Manly Man" Myth

This is the same Donald Trump who mocked Amy Klobuchar for standing in a snowstorm, calling her a "Snowman(woman)."

The same man who has spent years cultivating an image of toughness, from his WWE appearances to his obsession with "dominating" political opponents.

Yet when faced with a bit of cold weather, he folds faster than one of his cheap MAGA hats. And let's not forget his infamous obsession with appearances.

Trump's decision to move the ceremony indoors isn't just about the weather—it's about avoiding the embarrassment of a sparse crowd.

After all, nothing terrifies him more than the visual of empty seats, as evidenced by his fury over the photos of the 2017 inauguration.

A $170 Million Grift

Speaking of optics, let's talk about the money. Trump's inaugural fund raised an unprecedented $170 million, shattering records set by Obama and Biden.

Corporations like Boeing, Google, and Meta lined up to donate millions, hoping to curry favor with the incoming administration.

And what do they get for their money? An indoor ceremony with limited seating and a president who can't even brave the cold.

But don't worry—Trump's donors aren't the only ones getting fleeced. The American people are footing the bill for the security and logistics of an event that's been scaled down to accommodate one man's fragile ego.

Conclusion: The Emperor Has No Coat

Ultimately, Trump's decision to move his inauguration indoors is a fitting metaphor for his presidency: all bluster, no backbone.

He's a man who talks tough but folds under pressure, whether it's a stiff breeze or a tough question from a reporter.

While past presidents have faced the elements with courage and dignity, Trump retreats to the warmth of the Rotunda, leaving his supporters—and his credibility—out in the cold.

So here's to Donald J. Trump, the "manly man" who couldn't handle a little weather. May his legacy be as enduring as a snowflake on a warm day.

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Stay strong,
samuel