The Brits Deliver a Knockout Blow to Trump's Snowflake Ego

The U.K. rolls out a barbed wire carpet for Diaper Don's visit.

Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the sheer, unfiltered spectacle that is Donald Trump’s second official state visit to the United Kingdom—a diplomatic event so steeped in farce, even Mary Poppins is rolling her eyes and reaching for the gin.

If you thought the British were going to roll out the red carpet for America’s self-proclaimed monarch, think again. This week, London is rolling out something far more appropriate: a barbed wire carpet, tailor-made for the world’s most fragile ego .

The People’s Welcome: “Trump Not Welcome”

While Trump may be expecting adoring crowds and sycophantic flunkies, the British public has other ideas.

Protesters are out in force, plastering London with posters that read, with classic British understatement, “Stupid, callous, fragile, racist, narcissistic POTUS” - remember Mary Poppins?!

For those who prefer their insults with a little more bite, there are also slogans like “Trump, the rapist”—a level of directness that even the King’s corgis would find a bit much.

The “Stop Trump” coalition staged a “Trump Not Welcome” demonstration, mocking him for everything from denying climate science to siding with war criminals.

Their message is clear: Britain rejects hate, division, and authoritarianism. And if that’s not enough, Channel 4 is dedicating an entire night of television to Trump’s greatest hits—an uninterrupted reel of over 100 of his falsehoods, each lovingly fact-checked for your viewing pleasure. It’s like a greatest hits album, but every track is a lie .

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The Media’s Satirical Blitz

British media, never ones to miss a chance for a good roast, have gone all-in. Channel 4’s “night of Trump untruths” is just the tip of the iceberg.

The press has gleefully reported on every protest, every snub, and every awkward moment, framing the visit as less a diplomatic triumph and more a national spectacle of resistance and ridicule.

Even the tabloids, those bastions of subtlety, have joined in, with headlines and editorials that make it clear: Trump is about as welcome as a wasp at a picnic.

Royal Snubs and Subtle Insults: The British Way

Of course, the British upper class has its own way of expressing disdain—euphemism so subtle, Trump may not even realize he’s being snubbed.

The royal reception at Windsor Castle is a masterclass in polite mockery: a meet and greet with the King and Queen, a royal salute, and a state banquet where the only thing colder than the soup is the collective British contempt.

If Trump makes a pass at Camilla, the press jokes, he could find himself locked in the Tower of London under the Treason Act 1351—a fate that, frankly, would do wonders for the Tower’s TripAdvisor ratings .

The Final Word: A Royal Farce

In the end, Trump’s UK visit is a masterclass in British mockery—a blend of barbed protest, satirical media, and royal snubs so subtle, they might as well be written in invisible ink.

The only thing more inflated than Trump’s ego is the blimp-sized sense of national embarrassment he leaves in his wake. So here’s to you, Donald: may your next state visit be as warmly received as a cold cup of tea and a stale cucumber sandwich.

God save the Queen. And God help the rest of us.