Trump's Nobel Peace Prize Merry-Go-Round
Because Losers Gotta Lose
In today's episode of "How to Fail," our least favorite buffoon managed to both gain AND lose a Nobel Peace Prize nomination in the same 24 hours. That's right, folks - Trump speedrunning failure like it's an Olympic sport.
The Peace-iest President Ever (Just Ask Him!)
Remember when your kid brother used to throw a tantrum until he got the same toy as you? Well, ever since Obama snagged that shiny peace medal back in 2009 (which even he admitted was a bit much), Trump and his MAGA minions have been throwing the mother of all tantrums trying to get their very own participation trophy.
And boy, have they been trying! Our stable genius has been nominated more times than a desperate actor at the Razzies - 2018, 2020, THREE TIMES in 2021 (because apparently good things come in threes when you're trying this hard), and again in 2025.
It's like watching someone repeatedly ask their crush to prom, getting rejected every time, but still showing up in a tux at their doorstep.
Ukraine Says "Thanks, But No Thanks"
But here's where it gets chef's kiss perfect. Ukrainian lawmaker Oleksandr Merezhko, who had nominated Trump for the prize back in November, just yanked that nomination faster than Trump pulls out of international agreements.
Why? Because he "lost any sort of faith and belief" in Trump's ability to secure peace.
Shocking, right? Who could have possibly predicted that the guy who:
Tried to extort Ukraine during his first presidency.
Blamed Ukraine for starting their own invasion and the resulting war.
Suggested they should just surrender because they have "no cards to play."
Gets distracted by Middle East photo ops while Ukraine gets bombed daily ...might not be the best candidate for a peace prize?
The Art of the (Failed) Peace Deal
Let's be real here - Trump's been collecting Nobel Peace Prize nominations like they're Trump University lawsuits.
The best part? Literally ANYONE can nominate someone for a Nobel Peace Prize. Your neighbor's dog walker could nominate their goldfish if they felt like it. The bar is so low it's practically a trip hazard.
But Trump's supporters treat each nomination like it's an actual win. It's like celebrating making it to the Olympics because you bought a ticket to watch from the stands.
The Bottom Line
In the grand tradition of Trump enterprises, his Nobel Peace Prize aspirations are going about as well as Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, and Trump Airlines.
At least Ukraine finally figured out what most of New York knew decades ago - when Trump offers to "help," run in the opposite direction.
Maybe we should create a new award category: The Nobel Prize for Most Peace Prize Nominations Without Actually Winning. Trump would be a shoo-in, and finally, he'd have something legitimate to brag about.
But hey, there's always next year! Maybe by then, he'll figure out that threatening to "destroy the radical left very quickly," kidnapping people off the streets and deportin them without due process, and bombing the fuck out of Iran isn't exactly what the Nobel Committee is looking for in a peace prize candidate.
Then again, probably not. 🤷♂️
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samuel
Nothing would surprise me in this era of toddler rulers. Trump is that toddler tyrant and I could almost see him getting the prize in the hopes it could control his outbursts and amateur antics (much like the embarrassing NATO @$$-kissing fest we just observed).
Alas, it would be the end of the Nobel prize, as its credibility is everything - and it would be lost. Folks would be lined up to return their previously won prizes.
Your article was witty and made me laugh- not an easy thing to do these days. Thank you.