Trumpism Is Proof America’s IQ Is in Freefall

What George Carlin might have to say were he still around!

[Intro: Upbeat but biting instrumental music fades into the background]

Welcome, welcome, friends, enemies, and those in between, to another episode of Complaints and Grievances: A Tribute to George Carlin. And today, oh boy, do we have some complaints. Some grievances. Some straight-up, unfiltered rage.

You know, people always say, "I wonder what [insert dead celebrity] would say about [insert modern disaster]." And let’s be honest, not every figure from the past fits into every conversation.

But George Carlin taking on Donald Trump? MAGA? The whole idiotic circus that is America right now? That’s not just fitting—it’s destiny.

If there’s one man who could cut through the bullshit and call out the MAGA morons and their orange emperor, it was George Carlin.

And since he can’t do it himself, well, let’s see if we can channel some of that razor-sharp, no-holds-barred spirit right here, right now.

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A Tribute to George Carlin

Let’s start with this: MAGA is bullshit. There, I said it. MAGA is bullshit. And not the good kind of bullshit, like a clever lie you tell to get out of a speeding ticket.

No. This is the kind of bullshit that stinks up your whole life, clings to your clothes, and makes everyone around you dumber just for being near it.

It’s the kind of bullshit that has people chanting “USA! USA!” while their social security checks are getting cut, their healthcare is falling apart, and their jobs are shipped overseas.

But hey, at least they’ve got their red hats, right? Those stupid, cheap, made-in-China, red hats. Nothing screams patriotism like outsourcing your merch to a country you claim to hate.

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I mean, let’s be real here. Trump’s second term is shaping up to be exactly what we all expected: a four-year-long shitshow starring a bloated orange narcissist with the vocabulary of a toddler and the moral compass of a used car salesman.

And his fans? His base? MAGA Nation? They’re like a cult, except instead of drinking Kool-Aid, they’re chugging conspiracy theories about dead Venezuelan dictators hacking voting machines and Ukraine invading Russia.

And the best part? They’re doing it while waving their little American flags and screaming about freedom. Freedom! These people wouldn’t know freedom if it walked up and slapped them in the face with a copy of the Constitution.

And let’s talk about that Constitution for a second. It’s dead. Gone. Buried. Trump’s been using it as toilet paper since his first term, and now in his second, it’s nothing but shreds.

Oh, sure, he talks a big game about “law and order,” but what he really means is his law, his order. Immigration raids? Pardoning January 6 rioters? Releasing violent felons who then go on to commit even more violent crimes?

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That’s not law and order, folks. That’s chaos. That’s anarchy with a spray tan. But hey, at least he’s building that wall, right?

Who cares if the economy’s tanking, our allies hate us, and the planet’s literally on fire—at least we’ve got a few more miles of concrete in the desert. That’ll solve everything.

And speaking of the economy, let’s talk about Trump’s genius plan to fix it. Oh, wait, he doesn’t have one unless you count tariffs. Those glorious tariffs. You know, the ones that have wrecked American farmers, driven up prices for everyone, and started international trade wars that make no sense whatsoever.

But don’t worry, folks, Trump says it’s all part of the plan. “We have to suffer before it gets better,” he tells his supporters. And they believe him!

They’re standing in line at food banks, watching their 401(k)s evaporate, and they still think this guy’s going to save them. It’s like watching someone put their hand on a hot stove and then blaming the stove for burning them.

And let’s not forget about his magical sidekick, Elon Musk. Yeah, Trump brought in Musk to lead his so-called Department of Government Efficiency.

Because when you think “efficiency,” you definitely think of a billionaire man-child who spends most of his time posting memes and tanking his own companies.

Musk’s plan? Fire everyone. Slash budgets. Gut federal agencies. And what do we get in return? Chaos. Absolute chaos. But hey, at least it’s efficient chaos, right?

Now, let’s get to the real heart of this MAGA madness: fear. Because that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

Fear. Fear of immigrants. Fear of change. Fear of brown people, black people, gay people, trans people, anyone who doesn’t look, sound, or think like you.

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Trump and his cronies have weaponized that fear, turned it into a political strategy, and then slapped a big, red, white, and blue bow on it. And the MAGA crowd eats it up, because fear is easy.

Fear doesn’t require thought. Fear doesn’t ask questions. Fear is the perfect fuel for a movement that thrives on ignorance.

And let’s not forget the media’s role in all this. Oh, the media loves Trump. They love him because he’s a ratings machine. Every incoherent rant, every racist dog whistle, every idiotic policy is a goldmine for clicks and views.

And the worst part? They treat it all like it’s normal. Like this is just another presidency, just another news cycle. No. This is not normal. This is a slow-motion train wreck, and we’re all strapped to the rails, watching it happen in real time.

You know, George Carlin once said, “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” And he was right.

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The planet will survive Trump. It’ll survive the trade wars, the tariffs, the environmental rollbacks, and the endless, mind-numbing stupidity.

But us? Well, we might need a miracle—or at least a better voting system.

Here’s the real kicker: the MAGA crowd isn’t going anywhere. They’ve dug in their heels, waving their flags, chanting their slogans, and clinging to their red hats like they’re life rafts in a sea of reality.

And as much as it hurts to admit, we’ve got to keep calling out the bullshit. Mock it, ridicule it, shine a giant spotlight on it so bright that even Fox News can’t spin it.

Because if we don’t, the madness wins. And we’re not about to let a bunch of conspiracy-chugging, grift-loving, wall-obsessed cultists win, are we?

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No. We fight back by being smarter, louder, and more relentless than the nonsense they peddle. Because as Carlin would’ve said, “Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation.”

So let’s rip that glue apart and build something better—something that doesn’t smell like red hats, fear, and bad spray tans.

That’s it for today, folks. Thanks for tuning in to Complaints and Grievances. And remember: the next time someone tells you to “make America great again,” just smile, nod, and let them know—America was never great for everyone, and it sure as hell isn’t great now.

Until next time, take care of yourselves—and keep calling out the bullshit wherever you see it.

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